I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws.com".
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?" My simple answer is: It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.