A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!" "Don't you mean netsurfing?" "No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
When Google has a question Chuck Norris always knows it.
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions." Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.