I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."
Vote:
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!
Me: Yeah that was me
Gmail: No it was on another device!
Me: Yes my tablet
Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?!
Me: What? No!
Gmail: Call the police
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions."
Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."
Vote:
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?"
Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
Vote:
Yo mama is so fat she doesn't need the internet.
She is already world-wide!