I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
I hate Chuck Norris. Oh SHI...
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.