I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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