I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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America doesn't need a military...
We've got Chuck Norris
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If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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