Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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