Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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