Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.