Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.