Joke #10178

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
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If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
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I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.
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A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
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What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.
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Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
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