What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.
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Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What goes black white black white...?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!
A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote:
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
A cud thud.
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay!
Okay!
I'm a rabbit!
I'm a rabbit!"
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."