Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman. And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.