Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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