Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
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