Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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