Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris was the original star of "24." It was called "1."
Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.