Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past.
He has never made any mistakes.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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