Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.