Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
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Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
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An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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