Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
Chuck Norris is the reason why there's only one airbender left.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris kissed a girl once. She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.