Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
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Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
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Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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