Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers.
And wins.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
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