Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
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Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
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