Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.