Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris can stop the music.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Dorothy must follow the yellow brick road.
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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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