Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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