Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
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