When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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