When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
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Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
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Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London.
Then they wrote a song about it.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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