When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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