When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win. No questions.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.