Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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