Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous
Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.