Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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I hate Chuck Norris.
Oh SHI...
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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