When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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