When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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