If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up.
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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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