If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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