If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.