Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!