The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Chuck Norris can shut the door open.