The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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