The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.