Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
Chuck Norris discovered America.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.