Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
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Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris.
Remember Atlantis?
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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