Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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For Chuck Norris...
In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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