Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
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Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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