Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Hiroshima nagasaki was nothing but the result of chuck norris skydiving in Japan.