Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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