Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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