Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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