Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
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Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris froze hell.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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