Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
How did Stella get her groove back? Permission from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes." Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.