When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...