Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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