Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name.
Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
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What every sports player should say after winning?
"First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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