A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back.
Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
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When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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