If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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