If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.