Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines. They have footprints.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
A Chuck Norris round house kick is considered the first "super-collider".
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.