Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!
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Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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