Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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