Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.