Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
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Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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Some check under their beds for "Penny Wise the Clown" before to sleep.
Penny Wise the Clown checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before going to sleep.
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Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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