Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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