Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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