Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS.
Chuck Norris decides where he is.
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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
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