Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.