Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.