Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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