Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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