An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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