An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.