Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Chuck Norris wins Clue in one guess.
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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