Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
Chuck Norris was the original star of "24." It was called "1."
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.