Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
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The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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