Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears.
There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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