Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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