Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.
Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.