Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.