Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth