An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.