Joke #5346

An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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