Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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