Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris.
The answer is always Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The result was The Great Pyramids.
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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