Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
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Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Time waits for no man.
Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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