Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.