Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."