Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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