Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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