Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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