Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude.
He has a personality you can't handle.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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