Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
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Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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