Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.