Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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