Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
Human blood type is usualy 0+, A+ or AB... Chuck Norris blood tipe is AK-47
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.