Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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Chuck Norris is ambidextrous.
He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg.
All at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
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A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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