Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Chuck Norris never felt fear, and he never will.
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Chuck Norris can power solar panels.
At Night.
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huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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