Joke #9235

Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."

How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.

There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.

Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."

God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that bull came home this morning."

Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."

He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.