The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.