Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.