Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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