Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight.
The loser had to go live in the north pole.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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