Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.