Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
The Reapers in the Mass Effect series were actually Chuck Norris' baby toys.
Chuck Norris always wins at Jenga, the tower couldn't dare to crumble.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.