Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.