What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!
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Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river.
They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.
The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river."
Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof!
God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours.
The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river."
And Poof! God turned her into a man.
He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first?
Boy2: The blonde?
Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday Night morning?
"Tell her a joke on Monday Morning."
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN?
A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
What are the six worst years in a blonde’s life?
Third grade.