Joke #2520

A loan shark asks a lawyers advice: How can I get back my $1,000 from Johnny if I lost my loan receipt? Send a letter where you will write to him to send you the $2,000 he owns you. Ok but I only loaned him $1,000! That’s the idea, we want to get from hem a proof that he owns you $1,000...
Vote:
has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
Vote:
has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, light bulb, money
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Jerry is charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquits him. Later that day Jerry comes back to speak to the judge that tried his case. ‘Your Honour,’ he says. ‘I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.’ ‘Why?’ asks the judge. ‘He won your acquittal. Why do you want to have him arrested?’ Jerry replies, ‘I didn’t have the money to pay his fee, so the bastard went and took the car I stole.’
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.  The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Vote:
has 85.84 % from 1951 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, lawyer, marriage, prison
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, "Call for my lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I'd check out the same way."
Vote:
has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: god, hospital, lawyer, time
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
Vote:
has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: airplane, lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine? Only one if you run him through slowly!
Vote:
has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
Vote:
has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: bar, beauty, lawyer