Joke #2520

A loan shark asks a lawyers advice: How can I get back my $1,000 from Johnny if I lost my loan receipt? Send a letter where you will write to him to send you the $2,000 he owns you. Ok but I only loaned him $1,000! That’s the idea, we want to get from hem a proof that he owns you $1,000...
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
Vote: has 88.27 % from 773 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, lawyer, marriage, wife
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Vote: has 82.20 % from 1490 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama
A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A passing police car pulled over. As the policeman got out he heard the lawyer shouting, 'my mercedes, my brand new mercedes!" As the policeman approached he was shocked to notice the lawyer's right arm missing. ''Do you realize your arm is gone?'' asked the policeman? The lawyer, stunned, began to scream, "My rolex, my brand new rolex!"
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
Vote: has 77.41 % from 397 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, doctor, lawyer, little Johnny, teacher
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, lawyer