Joke #3541

A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?" "No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?" "I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"

Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis? A:Telling your parents that your gay!

Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.

What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate? The ice.

Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.

What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.

Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes *Whack!* "Darn!", but a bad skydiver goes "Darn!" *WHACK!*

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.

Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?

There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"