Joke #3541

A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?" "No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?" "I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman. And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, drug, sport
What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport? Pool.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot. Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help. Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help. Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned. Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned. Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help. Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening. Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned. Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim. He also did not know what his goal was. Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, memory, sport, stupid, time
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, sport
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!" The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, sport
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, game, sport
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport