There were these two friends, one who was gay, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them. St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied, "I was unfaithful to my wife one time." St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven. Now it was the second man's turn. St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her. The man replied, "Actually I'm gay, but here's a picture of my lover, and I never cheated on him." St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven. After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, "I wouldn't be bragging if I were you. I just saw your lover on a skateboard."
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
Why are faggots so generous? Because they don't know how to be tight arsed!
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Q: What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation? A: Can I help you pack your shit?
What's the definition of a poofter? A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!
Q: What do you call a gay drive by? A: "a fruit roll up."
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Why did the little Greek boy run away from home? He didn't like the way he was being reared.