When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris. His voice is still up there today.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...