When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.