When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem.
He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion.
The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands.
Now they are pregnant.
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