As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Man to friend: ‘I read a survey that said half the men in the UK masturbate in the shower, and the other half sing. Do you know what they sing?’ Friend: ‘No I don’t.’ Man: ‘I thought you wouldn’t.’
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*
‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.