What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris made sick the healthy chocolate.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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