What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.