What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.