What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor. The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
Chuck Norris froze hell.