When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.