When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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All men are born equal.
Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
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When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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